BABY OR NO BABY?… THAT IS THE QUESTION!

Picture this…

You’re at a dinner party or your best friend’s BBQ. Drinks are flowing, the music is perfect, appetizers are delicious, and disappearing quickly. You and your SO (doesn’t really matter if you’re married, nor for how long) are happily chatting away and making jokes with your friends and/or family. Inevitably, the question comes up: “So, when are the kids coming?” 

To this question, Giusseppe usually responds with a fake date like “September 31st” or after his friend has one (a friend that may not be married or seriously dating anyone), as he and I have yet to bring forth a child into this world. It’s not that we don’t want to (we do), but I am not ready. But the pressure is real!

Some have used the argument “There’s never a right time to have a child”, “You make the time/you find the money for a baby”, trust us we’ve heard it all as I’m sure you have, too, if you’re reading this page, have a uterus, breathe, and/or just have nosey (even if well-intentioned) but oblivious people around you.

But here’s the thing: while I’m finally emotionally ready for children, I don’t feel physically ready. I want to lose weight before pregnancy. Why? Because based on my personal weight history, I’ve struggled with losing weight all my life and post-pregnancy weight loss can make my already difficult goals that much harder to achieve. I will also get into the medical reasons as to why it makes sense for me to lose weight before pregnancy and why it may make sense for you, too in a later post. But, as a family, my husband and I also want to be more financially prepared to have a baby instead of going “Oops! We’re not ready for this baby!!! There’s nothing wrong with unplanned babies (most are a blessing to those that were not expecting it; we all know one-two many cases of when this happens, the stories are beautiful, sometimes they’re funny and full of hope – but also of struggles), and we don’t judge when this happens, but WE want to be ready and plan for our family the best way that works for US. Not on anybody else’s time.

[…] It’s OK to go back and forth between, do I or don’t I want to have a baby, heaven knows I’ve been both paths soooo many times!

More and more couples our age (and especially women) are delaying starting/expanding their own families because they’re putting their careers first. This is also another reason for us because we know our lives will change to accommodate and meet the demands of a child and I sometimes find myself even second-guessing that I could be that selfless. I suppose until I’m in the situation where I have no choice (I know myself, my child would be my priority – I’m not negligent y’all), but I won’t know until the rubber meets the road.

And it’s OK to go back and forth between, do I or don’t I want to have a baby, heaven knows I’ve been both paths soooo many times! And it’s alright if you are unsure, it is your decision, your choice, one that’s been discussed with the other parental figure if you’re planning on the 2-parent household route. Only you (or the collective you) get to make that choice.

If your choice is yes, baby, yes! and you’re at the point in life where you want to make healthier lifestyle choices for your new addition, then you’ve come to the right place.

I’m here, I see you. Feel free to comment below if you’d like to chat 🙂